Updated: Mar 2, 2021
No one tells you that a journey is quiet. No one tells you that most of the time the routines to heal are boring. I want to tell you about the healing of boring routines. Define terms: Not interesting! Tedious. Let us switch the term; lets create a reaction to “boring”. My definition of Boring: A call to action. Being boring means your creative imagination needs to come into play. The moments of waking up every morning from a serious heart condition were a blessing. It was not scary to know that at any second, I could die. It was peace! The Tattoo: When I turned 28 I got my Surrender tattoo. I knew when I was 18 I wanted this ink on my body. When I was 34 I almost died, I surrendered. The prophecy of my life was no, no, no you don’t get the pleasure of death at this moment, you get the pure pleasure of life at this moment. Death is easy, life is hard, but it’s also the fun part. I smiled after the gentle peace of a wake up from all the beeping around me. My man was so worried about me. He ran to me and did not sleep the next two days, he just stayed with me. This was a moment in my life where I knew a New Chapter was about to be exposed.
People are here in our life for a season. I learned my ride-or-dies in my life are my twin sister, Megan Booger, and the boyfriend. He earned his stripes to stay with me for a season. Seven days in the hospital, the problem: Business, Life and the Universe 191 CARDIOMYOPATHY. The doctor gave me three choices for how my life could go: 1. DIE: UMMM NO 2. Stay the same: UMM, Still No or 3. Get Better: I Choose number three Start the solution/Start the healing journey: = Set Intention: I will heal from this completely =
When I got home the heart doctor set me on an exercise routine: - Day One: 10-minute exercise of walking - Day Two: 20-minute exercise of walking - Day Three: 30-minute exercise of walking (you can break it up as long as the total is 30 min) - Day Four: 40-minute exercise of walking (you can break it up as long as the total is 40 min) - Day Five: 50-minute exercise of walking (you can break it up as long as the total is 50 min) - Day Six: 60-minutes of exercise of walking (you can break it up as long as the total is 60 min) REACH THE ROUTINE: Reached the boring stage of routine. This is my point; routine is not boring. Routine is a blessing. Talk about breathing. Before entering the hospital, I struggled so hard for breath. I cannot explain what it is like to understand the normalcy of struggling for breath. The first year of healing, at least three times a day, I struggled to breathe. The second year of healing it happened at least once a day that I struggled to breathe. This moment, being year two and nine- bLU TALKS 192 months of healing, when I am worried, scared, and nervous it is hard to breathe. Let’s talk about feelings — Healthy feelings: Happy, joy, excitement. Feelings are a Super-Power. Feelings are a call to action. When we are sad it is a call to action for understanding. We are whole body creatures: Mind, Body, and Soul. When we cut one off, we cut ourselves off from our unlimited potential.
The first year of healing was peace, not just peace but gentle peace. I was on short-term disability for four months. So, money was taken care of and I only had to worry about my healing. Find miracles along the way. In my job I always wanted to run to another company for stability but a little voice inside myself said “This is where you stay.” That is the first time my intuition told me to stay at a job. Thank goodness I did…disability money is a blessing. The day I almost died in the hospital is the day I asked for a puppy. I saved 250 bucks every pay cheque of my disability for four months. Azazel was born the day I asked for a puppy in the hospital. The Healing Journey Tip #1: Routine The Healing Journey Tip #2: Thoughts and Feelings The Healing Journey Tip #3: A network of people and what you surround yourself with Healing is painful: A heartbeat is a gift. I started to have an interest in the sound of a healthy heart -thud, thud, thud. Babies heartbeats run faster than an adults. The first time I put puppy Azazel’s heartbeat up against mine to feel her life force it was painful. I was weak. The Healing Journey Tip #4: A heartbeat. After four months of being on disability and ready to go back to OSP I got unemployed again… I help people with disabilities get jobs and once I got a disability, I got unemployed. That is the definition of interesting. I knew an epic job existed for me. I was not going back to death I was going towards full abundance. A five dollar raise is a thing of legend. I got it and started working with immigrants to help them plan their careers in Canada. I loved every second of that job. I believe in supporting and encouraging. The boyfriend’s time was about to shine. I was living my dreams, it was time for him to live in grace, glory, and blessing. We did the math and I would make a little less than our income together for the last five years. He wanted to go back to school and become an emergency manager. I supported his dreams because he supported me with my healing journey. The end again, my contract was for eight months. I knew the only way for me to have stability in life was to create my own. Miracle! A good connection goes along way. J and K career services were looking for English Teachers. I applied for the English Teacher job because I just needed an in for an interview. That interview had nothing to do with being a teacher. My agenda of that meeting was to see how someone else became a manager of a company. I wanted to job shadow an entrepreneur. The Thought: How is it possible for an immigrant with no experience as an employment specialist giving advice to others to get a job in Canada? If he can run a company. I can run a company. The Healing Journey Tip #5: Give Permission for Creative Imagination The thought of running my own company sustained me for six months. It was the best thought I have ever created. The Healing Journey Tip #6: Thoughts I can heal from a heart condition. I can run my own company. The Healing Journey Tip #7: The Power of Words Start writing and thinking about the condition as disassociated from me. Instead of my heart condition it becomes a heart condition. So many people live in love with their chronic pain. People use their pain as pity. Pity is weak. However, there is strength in weakness. Be broken. Be weak. Change thoughts: In my early 20’s I was swimming in the ocean, barely surviving. I was drowning. At 34-years-old I was drowning with water in my lungs and life was survive or die, simple, no more, no less. In the hospital I needed a new survival thought… head on a row boat? No, no, no. Not big enough, not safe…hop on a cruise ship of the mind. A thought goes a long way. A thought goes into action. A thought causes another one and another one…and another one. I was not making money at J & K Career Service. It was a month-long job shadow, working for free (with some money under the table) but not enough.
I needed an emergency job. Concordia University had a position as an admissions advisor. I asked the Universe for a rocky moment to get a job for four months and then to have some money to invest in my own company. I heard a rumor successful people think differently. I heard a rumor some people thrive. I heard a rumor you can build a mindset that is highly successful. The Healing Journey Tip #8: Learn new things Read: Part of healing is to be open to learning. At Concordia, I listened to 37 books including: As a Man Thinketh by Viktor Franke, Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill, Rich Dad Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki and Sharon Lechter, The Game of Life and How to Play It by Florence Scovel Shinn. Concordia graciously wanted to extend my contract, I politely said: No, thank you. I have a dream, a calling, a mission that I must claim. Once unemployed I reached out to Anderson Career Training Institute to learn how to be an entrepreneur. I have the mindset I just needed some nitty gritty knowledge to be off and running. Business, Life and the Universe 195 On the first day at Anderson we learned about The Healing Journey Tip #9: Define your terms Entrepreneur: A person that is organized and operates a business. My mind was shattered. A patterned belief was fighting back. I did not believe in myself. I did not love myself. The Healing Journey Tip #10: Share a Secret. In class one day I noticed someone was simply different from other people, he had a secret. He was powerful, mystic, understood networks, and was a force to be reckoned with. I flat out asked him: What is your secret? Instead of telling me he posed a challenge. What are you doing January 3-5th, 2020? Me: “Nothing! Ohh a free class…” Personal development is key to healing. Talk to yourself. This class pivoted my life to this point. The Healing Journey Tip # 11: Believe in Self. I went on a soul journey, opened a treasure, and got the best reward, a belief in Self. The journey, the epiphany, the reason I got a heart condition is I did not love myself. I was mean to myself. The Healing Journey Tip # 12: Love Yourself -Take Care of Yourself. Phoenix Career Development launched January 28, 2020 and then a pandemic hit. I have worked hard on healing. I was already in success energy. My healing thought was more magical then a pandemic. I thrived in COVID. The Journey is almost at an end lets recap the Healing Tips: 1. Be boring: In a moment of boredom is peace and happiness 2. Feelings and thoughts are superpowers 3. A network of people and what you surround yourself with matters. bLU TALKS 196 4. A heart beat 5. Give permission for creative imagination 6. Thought: I can heal my heart 7. The power of words. Dissociate from the problem 8. Learn new things 9. Define your terms 10. Share a secret: Personal Development 11. Believe in self 12. Love Yourself Closing thoughts: Today I live on an island. It is safe! It lets me network and meet new people. It lets me enjoy and live on a vacation consistently. One day soon I will get off this island and move to my own creative imagination house with my three rental properties. Complete healing is upon us. Do I claim it? Yes. July 13, 2020 at 11 am my heart doctor will say you slayed the dragon of self-hate, you are healed. The heart condition has weakened my muscle. The heart is a muscle the size of your fist. Keep on loving. Keep on Fighting. Hold on, Hold on Hold on for your life.